Sick of Punking people? Burned out after years of being an oversexed icon named after the mother of the Son of God? In the '90s you might have tried yoga or, if you were averse to sweating through your shirt, pilates. But nothing cured what ailed the soul in the aughts quite like a little touch of Kabbalah. What is it? Don't ask the Jews. Most of us don't really know. Yet in the aughts, some of Hollywood's biggest names (Madonna, Ashton Kutcher, Britney Spears) sought out some of Judaism's most famous names. I'm talking bout Solomon ibn Babirol. I'm talking bout Bahya ben Asher. And my main motherfucker, Rabbi Isaac Luria.
"Hello, Molly. How's it going?"
"Bad, in general. I just finalized my petition for a legal separation of marriage. Evan is about to move out of our mutual domicile. But at least there's the tax benefits."
"That sounds like a precarious arrangement. Are you using any sort of ancient Eastern tradition to help ease the transition to celibacy?"
"Well, I was considering primal scream therapy, but I just started a class on Kabbalah at the YMCA instead"
"Oh, yes. I heard about the book of Zohar from Oprah's book club. Much better than The Corrections."
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