At the turn of the aughts, and before all those shadowy dudes nancing around to Feist, there was the Diamond Rio 300. The very first device of its kind, it weighed in at 32 MB, and played about 12 songs (more if you used mp2's with 33% less mp). It came preloaded with a couple tracks from bands you had never heard of like Ozomatli and Floetry.
It lacked the highly developed sense of irony, sleek design, and detached-slack-shouldered-loner meme dominance of its iPod counterpart. Like the Laser Disc, Minidisc, and HD-DVD, the low mass techniks had spoken. Eventually, kids with Rios, Nomads, and the HP Paperweight were forced to buy white headphones and stuff their mp3 players, with their cheaper pricepoint and superior data storage, safely in their LEI's, hidden from judgmental eyes."Would it give you pleasure to listen to the new Hoobastank album on my mp3 player?"
"What is an mp3 player?"
"I mean an iPod."
"Produce the iPod. I would like to enjoy this Hoobastank. I hear they are of a similar auditory experience to Incubus."
"Come closer."
"Please remove the device from your pocket."
"I'd prefer not."
"But you must."
(removes mp3 player)
"Say! This isn't an iPod at all! Where did you get this? Service Merchandise? Good day, sir!"
Another popular aughts game: cut moody CBS footage over shitty country songs.
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