#23: Lost

In 2003, a man named Lloyd Braun, who was the president of ABC at the time, became aware of the popularity of stranded-on-an-island-based entertainments and decided he wanted a piece of the action. He hired the dude who created X-Files and one of the writers from Nash Bridges and set them loose. Then he went to play a little golf.

When he got back, Braun learned that ABC was planning on firing him. Naturally, he spent his remaining time at the company trying to fuck things up as much as possible. He stole office supplies, used the copier to make thousands of pictures of his genitals, and greenlit pilots for three separate Family Matters spin-offs.* Perhaps most notably, he spent $12 million to film the first episode of his island show that had now been re-written to include a secret underground hatch, a polar bear, and a people-eating column of black smoke.

Thus, the last truly great network television drama was born.


LOSTaholic4: "What about Friday Night Lights?"
DRivEShAFt8: "Yeah! I love that show!"
SawyersBallz15: "THAT SHOW SUCKS. B===D~~~~"
Mr_Cluck16: "IMO, they intentionally chose not to mention Friday Night Lights as a meta-commentary on the nature of good vs. evil."
DRivEShAFt8: "Interesting take."
LapidusTheFetus23: "Re: Mr_Cluck16, they time traveled back in post #15, so the authors of the blog wouldn't even be aware of the existence of Friday Night Lights."
LOSTaholic4: "OIC Good point, Fetus!"
MzJackShephard42: "omg i luvs awtsblog its hilarius and sooooo awesum lolz!"
Mr_Cluck16: "::Bows to Fetus' superior ANB knowledge."
DRivEShAFt8: "Do you guys think Corey is the smoke monster?"
LOSTaholic4: "Corey is the smoke monster and Ben is going to take over for Jacob as the protector of the blog, but he'll have to die in the final post to do so."
Mr_Cluck16: "Am happy they're going to kill Ben off. He's the Nicki and Paulo of AughtsNostagliaBlog."

*     *     *

* Urkel in Space, in which Urkel builds a spaceship and travels the universe accidentally knocking over space wedding cakes and constantly pestering the space-Winslows; Did I Do That!?, a hidden camera show hosted by Jaleel White in which actors infiltrate restaurants and family gatherings, accidentally knock things over, and them scream "Did I do that?!?" as the crew rushes on scene; and Family Matters: Special Victims Unit, in which Urkel graduates college, joins the police force, is partnered with Carl, and the two investigate rapes and molestations in metropolitan Chicago.